


do you ever?

by stilljunhui (acyria)



Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Confessions, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Road Trips, Sharing a Bed, i'm not sure if this is long enough to be counted as slow burn but maybe, let's be real we all saw that tag coming, my fave tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27059455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acyria/pseuds/stilljunhui
Summary: “I’ve been looking for that shirt,” Sunghoon said, which was true.“It looks better on me,” Jake replied with a cheeky grin, which was also true.or, Park Sunghoon goes through the motions of falling in love without much thought.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Park Jongseong | Jay/Yang Jungwon, Park Sunghoon/Shim Jaeyoon | Jake
Comments: 10
Kudos: 263





	do you ever?

**Author's Note:**

> i've been trying to write something since before i-land finished but i was also in such a big writing slump and got nothing but half-written drafts done. i told myself i'd write an i-land / enhypen fic though because i love the show and all the trainees so much and here i finally am!!! while this one features just the enhypen boys, i'm hoping to find time to write another fic that features more i-land bbs (EUIJOO...)
> 
> i'm not sure what their current hair colour is atm, but i'm manifesting blonde jay.
> 
> despite writing for years, i felt kinda rusty (??) with this one, but i hope u enjoy~
> 
> title from chamber 5 (dream of dreams).

By his third year in university, Park Sunghoon was sure of a few things.

For starters, he would have chosen to have Jake instead of Jay and Sunoo as his roommates in a heartbeat if he had the chance to choose again. Unfortunately, Heeseung had won their little group’s bet and naturally chose the room that would give him peace and quiet. Honestly, on that note, Sunghoon was also pretty sure he should have chosen a better group of friends back when he was a freshman, too.

When he voiced this out to his friends, he received a petulant pout from Sunoo.

“You _love_ having us around,” the younger said, legs dangling off from the top bunk, smiling at Sunghoon who at least had the solo bed across the room. 

“Yeah, you’re lucky to have us here,” Jay seconded from the bed below, despite his eyes being glued on the screen of his phone. “Right, Jungwon?”

Next to the boy, with wide eyes likewise glued onto his own phone, desperate to win against Jay in a mobile game for once in his life, Jungwon merely nodded. Maybe it was the effect of staying away from each other, but Jay stuck himself next to the younger boy a majority of the time, a bright blonde bur that just hung around. Meanwhile, Niki and Heeseung had made themselves comfortable on Sunoo’s bed as well, despite the small space that it had. 

It wasn’t a particularly new sight to see; somehow, all seven of them just naturally convened in Unit 24, even if the other boys stayed just a few doors down. Sunghoon couldn’t exactly blame them either, since his own single bed was occupied by himself and Jake. The latter was the only one among them who was actually doing something important, fingers clacking on his laptop keyboard like there was no tomorrow. That wasn’t an unusual scene for them, too. Jake was juggling academics with extracurricular activities and a soccer varsity to boot.

Next to him, Sunghoon felt like a mediocre student, but it wasn’t his fault the university didn’t have an ice-skating team.

It was on days where Jake looked like he was having a mental breakdown that the dark-haired boy felt much happier about having less work to do.

The two were the first of their group to form a friendship, one that was only strengthened as the years went by. Through the years, Sunghoon went from the tall, shy, and awkward boy that he was into someone who smiled often and hugged his friends a lot more than the average boy would. He was touchy by default, people just had to get used to it; the same way they had to get used to seeing him fixing his hair constantly like his life depended on it.

Meanwhile, Jake didn’t change much, except he eventually lost that foreign aura he held around him the more he adjusted to his new life in South Korea. He was heralded in their batch as someone well-known though; friendly to a fault, smart, and extremely athletic, it was hard not to know who he was around campus. While that still remained his reputation here and there, to his friends he was just plain Jake, who would still scream at the sight of any flying insect.

While Sunghoon had fun with all of his friends equally, he was sure his energy meshed well with the brunette the most, like some sort of unspoken bond.

They were best friends. That’s how things were and how things will continue to be.

“How’s your paper?” Sunghoon asked, tuning out the way Jungwon was yelling about having lost again. He had his head resting on Jake’s shoulder since there was little space on his bed and his neck was getting stiff. The brunette merely grunted in response, glasses perched on his nose as he checked and double-checked what was written on his screen. There was a 13-page count already done, but he didn’t seem satisfied as he kept re-typing paragraphs.

“Your fingers are going to fall off,” the dark-haired boy said again.

Jake sighed, loud and exaggerated, “I can barely feel my entire left arm because of your big head.”

“I do _not_ have a big head!”

“It’s been on my shoulder for an hour!”

“You’ve been on my _bed_ for an hour,” Sunghoon shot back, raising his head as he pretended to look offended. “I would have more space for my big head if you weren’t here.”

In the end, Jake abandoned his laptop—after deeming his paper acceptable—in favour of further arguing with Sunghoon about how there was no other comfortable space in their whole room, but that the latter had a whole pillow he could have rested on instead. Sunghoon, pleased that he had managed to get the other’s attention, relented and moved over to where his pillow lay. He quickly tugged the other boy down with him as he brought his phone out.

“There’s a new game I downloaded, come play with me.”

“You could have just _said_ you were bored,” Jake commented, amusement laced in his voice, but was shut up by the way the pale boy commented that he’s been trying to do so but the Australian nerd had been so focused on his paper; that just led to more squabbling, loud enough to the point that even _Kim Sunoo_ told them to keep it down or else he was going to throw something at them. The two promptly kept quiet, but only because Niki had jokingly threatened the same, and they would much rather listen to Niki than the fox-eyed boy. 

* * *

Freshman year was one large blur, except for the first day.

Sunghoon had a knack for being late no matter what the situation, so it made sense for him to be late on his first day in university. It wasn’t like he wanted to be late; who would, right? However, the goddess of being early to things was just never on his side. He _had_ woken up early, gotten ready on time even, but then the only bus on his route decided to choose that day to run later than usual. Anyway, that wasn’t the point. 

The point was that Sunghoon was late for orientation, which meant he had to find a way to blend all 177cm of him into the crowd of students that were already seated once he finally reached the lecture hall. He knew the student instructors probably couldn’t care less, but his fellow batchmates were another matter. He could feel the stares that came from all around him, making him even more conscious of his movements.

“Hey,” came a hushed whisper when Sunghoon maneuvered himself past another row of students, making him glance at the boy who spoke. 

“Empty seat right here,” the boy spoke again, pointing next to him at the glaringly obvious empty seat. How did Sunghoon even miss it when he first entered? He could have saved himself time and attention if he bothered to check the area first before bumbling around. Whatever, it didn’t matter, he figured he should just accept his fate as he made his way to the row just above where he was standing. 

Once he was finally seated, Sunghoon turned to the boy who helped him out, “thank you.”

“No problem. I’m Jake, by the way,” the other replied, flashing a friendly grin that Sunghoon quickly returned, introducing himself as well. Jake gave him a quick recap of what was already talked about—nothing important, really—and soon after, the two were engaged in an easy conversation to drown out the boring speeches that were taking place. It was from that point that the two became fast friends.

* * *

Except, well, some constants change. 

Like the way Jake had never failed an exam in their whole stay in university. 

If there was anything Sunghoon noted about that day, it was that it was surely a Thursday. He knew this because Thursday afternoons were the only time of the week when he had peace and quiet in his room. His roommates both had class, along with most of the others. Sometimes, Sunghoon would be out, but most of the time he preferred to take a nap and everybody else knew that about him, too. All college students need a nap once in a while. So he had been in the room, on his bed, just about ready to close his eyes when there was a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” He called out, getting up from his spot with a sigh. “Niki, if you’re skipping class again, I swear—“

“Sunghoon,” came the reply from someone who definitely _wasn’t_ the younger boy. 

He opened the door to a weary-looking Jake, whose head immediately fell forward to rest against Sunghoon’s chest, almost as if it had been resting on the door just moments before.

“What’s the matter?” The taller boy asked, one arm instinctively coming up to wrap around the other’s shoulder. When did Jake’s form seem so small? He was supposed to have a good body, too, being an athlete and all. At that moment though, it was like the other boy was purposely trying to shrink himself into Sunghoon, which took the latter a few moments to realize and made him worry about things further. “Hey, Jake, what’s wrong?”

Somehow, the two naturally ended up on Sunghoon’s bed. Jake was still curled into the taller boy, practically hiding his face so his voice was muffled as he explained what happened, but the other heard him nonetheless. Granted, a failed exam was normal in a student’s life, but Jake had always been very particular about his grades and the scholarship that kept him going. If it was Jay disappointed about what he considered a low grade, Sunghoon would have made a few quick jokes to lighten up the situation, but this was different.

He would have shoved Jay right off his bed, but he could never do that to Jake.

“You did your best,” Sunghoon said instead, careful to keep his voice gentle. “You can always ace the next exam, right? Maybe ask Heeseung to teach you if he has time, it’s his major after all.”

“I guess,” the other boy mumbled. 

There were a lot of things racing through Sunghoon’s mind, but none he could voice out without making the situation weird. Well, weirder than it already was. Jake never really shied away from Sunghoon’s hugs before, but he also never outright asked for it, was never really the type to seek touch. So while they were in a pretty comfortable position, the pale boy couldn’t help but feel like the whole thing was new to him. It was a new thing in itself for Jake to have failed an exam, to begin with. 

“This is getting kind of embarrassing,” Jake ended up voicing out for the both of them after a few more minutes had passed, evidently feeling better as he pulled away, but just by a fraction. The distance was just enough for them to meet eye to eye, but Sunghoon’s long arms still rested around the other boy’s frame. Neither mentioned it, despite how glaringly obvious it was. Sunghoon didn’t feel compelled to mention it either, since it wasn’t like he cared much.

Instead, the taller boy scoffed, “we’ve been in much more compromising situations.”

“Like when we accidentally kissed in front of everyone?”

“Do you really have to bring _that_ up?” Sunghoon asked dryly, rolling his eyes when the brunette’s chuckling turned into full-blown laughter. “That was your fault, anyway.”

Jake’s laughter died down, but there was still a mischievous smile on his lips that said he was still reminiscing about the said situation, which was better than the frown he had on earlier that afternoon. It was a welcome change, even if it was at the taller boy’s expense, but Sunghoon knew how to sacrifice his dignity for the sake of his friend’s happiness, after all. It really was funny, looking back. The rest of their friends gave him hell for it, but it was funny nonetheless.

“You complain, but we all know you liked it,” the brunette teased, earning him a whack on the shoulder that made more laughter bubble out of him.

“If you’re done sulking, get off my bed, I was going to take a nap,” Sunghoon said, releasing his hold on the other boy and making a point to lightly nudge Jake’s leg with his in an effort to make him leave. Of course, that just made Jake shake his head and adjust his position on the bed so that they were just barely touching. Again, the bed was small, so it took a very specific position to make sure they had just the exact amount of personal space available to them.

The smaller boy closed his eyes, “good night then.”

With a resigned sigh, Sunghoon closed his own eyes and mumbled something about how there were more beds available in the room before sleep overcame him.

* * *

It was an unfortunate occurrence in Park Sunghoon’s life; which meant it was a joy for the rest of his friends, _especially_ Jake, though the other boy was mainly the cause. In their sophomore year, the two of them chose the same theatre acting elective, along with Heeseung, who was the only one required to take the class. The latter thought it would be the funniest thing if Sunghoon played the role of a tall damsel in distress with Jake as the shorter yet dashing prince charming who would save the day. 

“I object,” Sunghoon said immediately, but it fell on deaf ears.

“I said,” he tried again, trying hard not to roll his eyes at the way his other two friends pointedly ignored him in favour of discussing the plot points. “I don’t see why I have to play the one who needs saving!”

The eldest among them, Heeseung, gave him a look that meant there was no use arguing out of the situation. They _did_ choose him as their group leader—maybe Sunghoon’s first mistake since he suggested it so enthusiastically—so he had no choice but to follow. While he played the commoner boy who gets kidnapped by an evil wizard, Jake got the role of a knight instead of a prince, with Heeseung claiming it would lead to realistically fewer problems for their supposed relationship with royalty aside.

“I get to play the evil wizard,” Heeseung said, cackling in a way that made Sunghoon worry for him sometimes.

On the day of their performance, the rest of the friend group had freed their schedules so they could watch. Jungwon would have filmed the whole thing, but the professor of the class didn’t allow cameras around to distract his acting students. It wasn’t like everything was a surprise to them anyway since Sunghoon’s roommates were subjected to him loudly practicing his lines for a whole week. Niki, who was often busy with dance practice, was probably the one who knew the least about what was going to happen.

Still, Sunghoon should have expected that being group-mates with Heeseung meant that the older boy was going to bring his A-game. 

Add Jake in that situation and their short skit could almost become a full-on Broadway play.

“Where did Heeseung even get these costumes?” Sunghoon asked in awe as he donned his commoner’s attire, the white and brown outfit fitting him perfectly. “This looks like it was taken right out of the medieval era.”

“It suits you,” Jake said thoughtfully. 

“Thanks, but _you’ve_ been complimented enough today,” the taller boy said with a laugh, catching on to the way Jake’s cheeks flushed at the accusation, dressed in his own costume. He looked good, tan skin and athletic figure making him look perfect for the part of a seasoned knight. Maybe it did make sense that slim, lanky Sunghoon was the one who got himself easily kidnapped by the equally thin wizard. Either way, all of their classmates had complimented Jake the moment he appeared backstage.

He smirked before Jake could defend himself, “oh, knight in shining armour, save me!”

“You’re one to talk,” the brunette shot back, before clearing his throat to recite one of his own lines. “Do my eyes deceive me? What a beauty you are to behold—“

“Okay, stop, I don’t need to gag before the show.”

“You started it.”

Before the two could bicker further, Heeseung appeared in his wizard robes, claiming that they were up next on stage in a few minutes. They were confident, of course. Heeseung was very good at helping them polish their acting, but that aside, the three of them also had good chemistry that showed even when they were acting. The short play went smoothly, up until the finale, where the knight finally won against the wizard to save the commoner that he fell in love with at first sight.

Sunghoon was kneeling on the floor, grasping Jake’s hands in his in fervent thanks as the knight assure him that everything would be fine, bent down on one knee himself so they were fairly level.

“Kiss me, my knight, to remind me this isn’t a dream,” Sunghoon said dramatically as the other began to lean down. They weren’t supposed to actually kiss, but there was a loud shout from the crowd that sounded suspiciously like Jay hollering that made Jake jump a little in surprise as he moved closer, the timing impeccable. The short jolt was enough to make their noses bump along with their lips, chapped lips brushing along Sunghoon’s own, making him freeze.

Thankfully, the latter was only dazed for a quick second before remembering their grade was at stake.

He found himself pressing forward slightly to make it seem like the kiss wasn’t an accident before pulling the other into a hug, which was the next move and also to hide his face.

“I would rather be nowhere else,” Jake, to his credit, also recovered quickly as he hugged back. 

The good news was that the professor was so impressed by their dedication that they got the highest grade in the class. The bad news was that for some reason, the bunt of the teasing fell on Sunghoon, even if it wasn’t _his_ mistake. Probably because he was the one whose face very clearly turned a blushing, bright red at the reminder of what happened. It registered in his head late that the whole scene happened in front of a crowd of people who were probably going to talk about it forever. At least, that’s what his mind supplied, fuelling his embarrassment. 

Meanwhile, Jake had laughed it off, “they’ll forget about it sooner or later, we did great.”

“You don’t have Sunoo as a roommate,” Sunghoon deadpanned, as the younger boy took that exact moment to show up backstage along with the rest of their friends. 

“I have to hand it to you,” Jay spoke first, trying his best to keep his composure, despite the slight upturn of his lips. “I didn’t know you’d take things that far for a good grade.”

“No thanks to _you,_ ” Sunghoon shot back, poking the other’s chest with his finger, which made the blonde erupt into fits of laughter that he could no longer contain. Thankfully, after that, the rest of them genuinely praised their acting. Jungwon commented that they must have had no choice, with Heeseung around, they had to be the best or else suffer the consequences. While the older boy argued against that, Jake and Sunghoon shared a look of agreement that was caught by everybody else.

“I wish we got it on tape,” Sunoo commented sadly. 

Niki disagreed immediately, “I don’t think I need to see that kiss again.”

* * *

When the door opened and Jay entered, Sunghoon had already been awake, despite still lying down. He decided to not to wake Jake since the other looked like he needed rest; the stress he had over failing wasn’t around as he slept, so he looked peaceful as he slept. Jay merely glanced at the two on the same bed before moving on to whatever he was supposed to do, nothing new with the sight whatsoever. At least they weren’t still cuddling or something, Sunghoon’s mind supplied, although the smaller boy had inched closer in his sleep.

“So I was thinking,” Jay said, keeping his voice low as he sat on his bed across the room. “You know how we have that long weekend coming up?”

Sitting up on his own bed as best as he could, Sunghoon nodded, the silent question on his features.

“Let’s all go to the beach! We could rent a place and everything.”

The idea of a road trip wasn’t anything new in their friend group. Actually, it was something they had all wanted to do since last year, but things just never pushed through. Jay continued to explained that he really wanted to have one before Heeseung would graduate for the year. Not to mention, most of them also had to leave come next year, Sunghoon included. It wouldn’t be long till their little group won’t be together all the time; Jay had always been the sentimental type.

“The beach does sound nice,” Sunghoon agreed softly.

He glanced down when Jake had stirred in time to see the other’s eyes blink open.

“Did I hear something about the beach?” The brunette asked still half-asleep, rubbing his eyes awake as more words fell out of his mouth. “I like the sun. Sunghoon, let’s go.”

“Hey, _I’m_ the one who said we should _all_ go,” Jay complained loudly now that the other boy was awake, just in time for Sunoo to enter as well. With the latter around, it became more evident that their plan to go on a weekend road trip would finally happen since the younger boy began to rattle off all the things they could do and where they could go. He was _also_ sentimental about things since Heeseung was one of his favourite people in the world, it seemed.

* * *

By some stroke of bad luck, Sunghoon lost the room assignment game, _again._

It was Sunoo who won first this time around, easily choosing both Heeseung and Niki to stay with in the largest room with the giant bed. Jungwon came next, but he didn’t really have much of a choice since Jay was already hanging off his shoulder before he was given the chance to decide. At least this time around, Sunghoon ended up with Jake by default, which meant his nights were going to be peaceful enough. Unless everybody decided to sleep in the living room, which wouldn’t be a surprise, either.

“I always lose,” Sunghoon complained, bringing his stuff in the room they had to share. 

The smallest room, at that, so things still weren’t the best even with Jake around.

“I can’t believe Jungwon didn’t pick me over Jay, of all people,” the brunette complained alongside him, sounding extremely offended at the decision that was made, a small frown on his lips that didn’t look like it belonged there if Sunghoon had to be honest. He dumped his bag on one of the available beds and gestured dramatically towards the general direction of the other rooms. His voice was filled with disbelief, “who would _willingly_ choose _Park Jongseong_ as a roommate?” 

“Jay helps him with assignments,” Sunghoon sighed, defeated.

Jake pouted, “we help him, too!”

“It’s not like Jay was going to let him go,” the taller boy said thoughtfully, wondering—not for the first time—whether there was something the blonde boy wasn’t telling him. Jungwon looked like the type of boy that Jay would have tried dating, maybe if they met under different circumstances and _not_ with Heeseung’s protective stare judging Jay that one fine day. That was a thought for some other time, Sunghoon figured, already in the process of looking for his swimwear and briefly considered whether he should keep his shirt on. 

His current roommate was already one step ahead of him. Jake had wisely chosen to wear his swimming trunks already and by then, just had to take his shirt off. 

“The sea is calling me,” Jake announced with a happy smile, finally done sulking over the room assignment. “Come on, Elsa, hurry up!”

“Alright, Moana, calm down.”

Sunghoon wasn’t the biggest fan of the beach, but it wasn’t like he hated the idea of it, either. He was just used to staying indoors, maybe even on an ice rink than anywhere near the sun and sand. Meanwhile, Jake had lived most of his life being sun-kissed and sorely missed it, especially during colder months. The rest, save for maybe Sunoo, also enjoyed a good sun-soaking now and then. Niki was already rushing towards the waves when the two left the rest house.

“Maybe you’ll finally get a tan this time,” Jake teased as they walked over to where the rest were setting up towels, making the taller boy shake his head.

“I’ve told you, I only get pink and severely sunburned.”

The brunette laughed, “that’s still something I would want to see.”

Sunghoon got back at him by racing ahead of Jake at the exact moment he suggested that the last one to reach the others had to shower last. He could hear the other boy swearing behind him as they ran, the sand warm and soft underneath his feet, not as bothersome as usual. He won, purely because he cheated since the other boy was a soccer player after all. Jake tackled him down to the sand in retaliation the moment he arrived.

There was a near palpable shift in time that made falling feel almost like it was happening in slow motion. Jake’s arms were around his waist as they fell, getting sand all over their torsos as they rolled a bit before stopping, out of breath. There was something else weighing down on Sunghoon’s chest that had something to do with Jake hovering above him, grains of sand sticking to his hair and forehead, a wide grin on his face that made his cheeks look like they’d break.

“Get off,” Sunghoon groaned despite the unwanted heat he felt spreading across his face.

There was a flicker of _something_ in Jake’s eyes—new and unfamiliar—before he relented, standing up and extending a hand to help the other boy up as well.

“Are you two staying on the sand?” Heeseung asked, choosing that moment to appear, already wet from a quick dip in the water. 

It didn’t take long for Jake to run the remaining distance into the water while Sunghoon had decided to stick around on the shore, now that the older boy was around. Swimming was fine and all, but he was still wondering whether the heat he felt was from the sun or from whatever the hell just happened. The latter made his eyebrows furrow in thought, an action that was easily caught by Heeseung’s eagle eyes as he approached the taller boy with intent.

“Sunghoon, you look troubled,” he said, not bothering to ask whether he was right or not.

“It’s the sun,” Sunghoon said, frowning a bit. “I think.”

“Does this have anything to do with Jake?”

Curse Lee Heeseung and his ability to see through anybody. It was a quality only he had, honestly, which made him the dependable older brother of everybody in their friend group. Well, he always seems that way to Sunghoon, at least. The road trip was supposed to be some kind of good-bye trip for the senior student though, so it wasn’t the right time to avoid him, since Sunghoon wouldn’t know when he’d see Heeseung again. That was what he told himself when he found himself replying.

“Does Jake ever catch you off-guard?”

Heeseung hummed thoughtfully, “what do you mean?”

“I mean,” Sunghoon started, trying to piece his wild and impromptu thoughts about his best friend together. The brunette was so simple yet complicated at the same time; even though they did get along better than two peas in a pod, like they were cut from the same cloth. Still, sometimes Jake spoke with his actions more than his words, keeping those to himself. It had taken Sunghoon some time to get used to that aspect of their friendship where he had to translate said actions, but he managed.

In the end, his words also wouldn’t cooperate as he continued, “you know, _things._ Does Jake ever make you think of things?”

“You’re not making any sense.”

“Maybe _I’m_ the problem,” Sunghoon sighed, turning to watch the rest of their friends play around in the water. His eyes easily spotted Jake, his tanned skin glistening gold under the sunlight, easy on the eyes. The only other one there who had fairly tanned skin was Jay, but his blonde hair was a pain to stare at, while the rest had yet to spend enough time under the sun. That was what he told himself while he continued to stare at only Jake, his chocolate-brown hair, and the way he smiled.

* * *

He’s had a few crushes here and there, but none that really lasted.

People were attractive, Sunghoon realized some time in high school, and it also didn’t take much for people to be attracted to him. 

At a young age though, such feelings were fleeting, infatuation at best. The boys he had liked never really did anything, the concept still new and strange, usually unspoken of and kept tucked away in the back of their minds. The girls, although much more forward with their interests—especially the ones who skated the ice with him—also didn’t seem to enjoy the slow pace that Sunghoon preferred to keep. They came and went, and frankly, it wasn’t much of a problem.

Relationships and everything that came with it didn’t really appeal to him very much, either.

Sunghoon was around when Jay had been sulking in the library once in their second year, filled with resentment and shame that ebbed into a feeling of heartbreak, rather than evolving into anger. It wasn’t like the other boy was the type to hold a grudge anyway, but it was still a painful thing to go through a breakup. It was hard to shake him out of it, but Sunghoon managed, listening while Jay unloaded most of his regrets unto him. Things he wished he had done better, words that should have been said.

“How did you know you were in love?” Sunghoon asked at some point, unable to keep himself from being curious.

Jay chuckled, “I don’t think it’s something I can explain.”

“Did you know _when_ you fell in love, at least?”

“Bro, that’s even harder to answer,” Jay complained, but at least he was smiling now, even if the topic was still somewhat sensitive for him at the moment. “You kind of just know, you know?”

* * *

Sunghoon wasn’t in love.

No, that was too early to say, too immature for him to go around throwing that word around when he didn’t really know what it meant. Instead, he soon realized the weird feeling churning in his stomach was actually familiar. He might have a crush on Jake, but nothing majorly life-changing, and certainly nothing he ever planned on acting upon. He just happened to find his best friend attractive in every cliched way possible. That was fine. Things were fine.

He should have known things were going to turn not fine very quickly. Specifically, shortly after Sunghoon realized his feelings, which was around the same time Jake emerged from his after-swim shower wearing a very familiar shirt. It was silly, really, for Sunghoon to care so very little about the entire skin show Jake just showcased while he swam and then suddenly find his stomach flipping at the sight of Jake in one of _his_ shirts. It even had _Park Sunghoon_ on the back, from when he was in the core team of a club project. 

“I’ve been looking for that shirt,” Sunghoon said, which was true. 

“It looks better on me,” Jake replied with a cheeky grin, which was also true. 

The shirt was too big on him for sure, but it did make him look cute, drowning in it like he was the most comfortable boy in the world. He followed up by saying Sunghoon had left it in his room after the project and he just kept forgetting to give it back, which was probably also true. Sunghoon _did_ hang around his room with Heeseung often, purely because he liked the idea of hanging around other people’s beds since they did it so much in his own room. 

The taller boy spoke without thinking, “fine, keep it then.”

It made Jake blink back in surprise.

“Really?” The brunette asked, disbelief on his features. “I was thinking you would argue about how much better you look, the natural prince of campus, and demand your shirt back.”

“But you look so happy in it,” Sunghoon said honestly, squishing the other’s face in between his hands and laughing when he managed to get Jake flustered, the pleased feeling washing over him, making him nearly giddy at how cute the shorter boy was being. Had he always been this way? Probably, but Sunghoon was seeing everything in a new light and it was that moment he realized that there really was something different about the way he felt. He was still smiling when Jake pulled his hands off.

“You’re _really_ never getting this back,” the shorter boy threatened without much venom in his words.

They had a barbecue prepared for dinner, the only real way to spend a decent trip, even if they had to shell out more money than what a regular university student could handle. It was worth it, Jungwon stated, since they were essentially sending Heeseung off before graduation, even if it was still months away. The older boy sniffled a little at the comment. It was easy making him cry, that much was a well-known fact, so Jungwon quickly changed the topic before it could happen.

“Anyway,” he said, glancing at Jake pointedly, “why are you in Sunghoon’s shirt?”

“What a scandalous question,” Sunoo commented with glee, laughing when Jungwon had turned red and explained that wasn’t what he tried to imply. 

The actual topic of the question, Jake, remained unfazed even with the way Sunoo was giving him a suggestive look. The younger boy soon burst into laughter though, unable to keep the act up any longer, which meant he wasn’t being serious about what he was implying. Jake must have known, that was the only reason he didn’t react, except for the grin that appeared when Sunoo began to giggle. Meanwhile, the owner of the shirt felt a little hotter under the collar, but Sunghoon was glad nobody noticed him.

Dinner went by in a blur of shared plates and grilled meat, no alcohol since they weren’t all legal yet, and a lot of bickering about mundane things. Heeseung wanted to give a going-away-speech, but they stopped him from doing so because it was supposed to be a _happy_ break. They played a quick game about who would be in charge of cleaning the dishes afterward, which Jay lost, to Sunghoon’s great relief. He didn’t need to lose all the games they played, what would they say about his luck? He needed luck. Lots of it. 

Despite not losing, Jay managed to drag Sunghoon over to help him, while the rest settled down in the living room to choose a movie. 

He had a good reason for it, though.

“Sunghoon,” Jay began casually, handing a soaped plate to the taller boy. “You know, you could tell me anything, right?”

“Yes?” Sunghoon replied, confused.

“I mean, you know, if you have any problems or need help—“

The dark-haired boy sighed, “Jay, what are you trying to say? I don’t think I know, actually.”

Jay gave him a _look_ , but when Sunghoon still didn’t seem to magically know what he was talking about, he clicked his tongue instead. Sunghoon didn’t think he had much of a problem at hand, actually. His feelings for Jake—though new and a little scary—didn’t really really seem like a problem. On the other hand, did he need help? Also a no, since he had no plans of confessing, anyway. He was going to wait for the feelings to die away or until he found someone else he could get a crush on. 

Then again, if he didn’t find it a problem, why did his mind go that route, to begin with?

“It’s about Jake,” the blonde said in a hushed whisper to avoid being heard by the others.

Sunghoon was suddenly very focused on getting the plates clean.

“What about him?”

“More like what about you, when are you going to keep your feelings a secret?” Jay asked. It wasn’t a problem then, but now it could be if Sunghoon was so obvious about it. It’s only been a few hours but clearly, Jay had already caught on. How much more till the others do? Till Jake himself realizes? Maybe the feelings were a problem after all if he can’t seem to keep it hidden. The other boy continued as Sunghoon internally panicked. “Especially since it’s been years, dude, you should really—“

“Wait,” Sunghoon interrupted. “Years?”

Jay gave him an unamused look, “yeah, since we were freshmen, right?”

“What do you _mean_ since we were freshmen?” The taller boy asked, bewildered since he was pretty sure he only started liking the other boy very recently. When he told Jay as much, the other looked like he didn’t believe a single word out of his mouth. Sunghoon _must_ have liked Jake all this time, why else would he allow Jake on his bed, but push Sunoo off? Why else would he allow Jake to wear his shirt, but complain whenever his shirts mixed with Jay’s? 

“Not to mention, you’ve been staring at him since this whole trip started,” Jay continued, clearly on a roll, leaning against the kitchen counter to stare at the other boy. He looked determined to make Sunghoon understand, it seemed. “I even saw you looking down at him in the car, when he fell asleep on your shoulder, with such a fond look on your face that it sent chills down my spine. I almost thought you were already dating, since he clearly likes you, too.” 

“ _What?_ ” Sunghoon croaked out, throat dry because no, this wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. 

Plus, Jake liking him the same way? All this time? 

He’d have to be blind not to notice.

Jay gave him another unamused look before pushing the taller boy out of the kitchen and towards the living room, where the rest had already gathered pillows and blankets to make a makeshift bed on the floor. They just ate, but Niki was mumbling something about getting popcorn before the movie started. Meanwhile, Sunghoon’s eyes landed on Jake, who was resting on the sofa instead of the floor. He was playing something on his phone against Heeseung. 

When Jay announced their presence, Jake looked up from his phone and met Sunghoon’s eyes.

His smile was immediate, along with the way he sat up to make space on the sofa, already knowing that Sunghoon would naturally gravitate towards the spot next to him.

* * *

All things considered, maybe Jake actually _was_ obvious about things. Either that, or he was like Sunghoon, whose actions preceded the realization that there was always something there hidden beneath the surface. It was only when Sunghoon really took the time to think that he wondered to himself how he missed all the soft, subtle signs that Jake threw his way. Actions, like he once figured out about the other boy, actions over words. 

It might have been a little unfair; Jake seemed to take his feelings in stride, taking all his chances to be close to Sunghoon without pushing, without even so much as getting shy. He didn’t fumble over his words or blush like a schoolgirl. He never seemed to stare for too long or glance away awkwardly to avoid being caught. There were no obvious signs, none that Sunghoon knew how to translate. He wasn’t used to the way Jake functioned.

Except maybe that one time they were in Jake’s room for a change, on his bed.

“Do you think Sunoo’s going to accept that confession?” Sunghoon asked randomly, also working on his own assignments for once instead of laying around, bored.

“No, he’s rejected everybody so far,” the brunette replied, glasses almost falling off his face. 

Sunghoon, without much thought, helped push it back up.

To his credit, Jake didn’t flinch at that, although his eyes did follow the way Sunghoon’s hand went up and fell back down. He muttered a soft thanks before going back to revising his essay, lips pursed in thought, his usual look of concentration. Minutes passed with nothing but the sound of the keyboard filling the room, but it was comfortable. Sunghoon was used to this kind of peace and calm around the other, enjoyed it even, so he was surprised when Jake paused typing to face him all of a sudden.

“Why do you think he hasn’t accepted anybody’s feelings?” He asked, curious.

The other boy shrugged, “maybe he already likes somebody else.”

Sunghoon glanced at him, ready to start guessing who Sunoo could have a crush on, but the words died down when he met Jake’s impossibly brown eyes. 

“Maybe,” Jake agreed, maintaining their eye contact. “Like, he’s waiting for someone, right?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

The moment passed, with the brunette turning back to his laptop and began to type again. Sunghoon forgot his original point and the names he wanted to list down about who Sunoo could like; his mind was blank for a few seconds before he shook himself back to the present, remembering his own assignments that needed to be done. Jake didn’t bring the topic back up again either, since they weren’t the type to discuss things like that for too long.

* * *

Heeseung chose the movie for the night, which meant it was some kind of horror film.

It also meant that Sunghoon spent a good portion of the movie hiding behind at least two pillows and occasionally, Jake’s shoulder. The two remained on the sofa, although they had to work with their positions for a while before settling into something comfortable for them both. That meant Jake was partially seated on the other’s lap, to act as a cover for the screen, with Sunghoon’s arms around him to keep him in place. 

He tightened his hold on the smaller boy when an ominous sound began to play.

“Nothing’s even happening,” Jake said, loud enough so that Sunghoon could hear, but not enough that the others would complain. 

“ _Yet,_ ” Sunghoon hissed back, eyes already half-closed in expectation.

“You’re such a baby.”

The other boy didn’t have time to retaliate as the main character in the movie screamed, successfully making him hide his face behind Jake again. He could feel the way Jake had vibrated with laughter. Sunghoon swatted at the other’s stomach blindly in complaint and was about to do it again, when Jake had caught him by the wrist, effectively stopping the movement. His fingers remained curled there for a few seconds before he let go, but Sunghoon could still feel the ghost of warmth even long after. 

It would have been easy to fall asleep like that with his face hidden; if Sunghoon wanted to be called a chicken by Sunoo of all people, since the younger was determined to watch the movie.

So he stayed awake, despite how comfortable it was being pressed against Jake.

When the movie ended, Sunghoon only let go of the younger boy because Jay had reminded everyone about the popcorn and chips they brought along. Jake had volunteered to go grab them, which left the pale boy feeling cold despite the way he still had blankets wrapped around him. He watched the other boy leave and made the mistake of glancing over at Jay to see the blonde smirking at him, in a way that said _you want to follow him, don’t you?_

He promptly looked away.

He did, but he wasn’t going to give Jay the satisfaction.

The next movie was chosen by Niki, who had had enough of the scary jump scares and chose an action film instead. By the time Jake returned with the food, the movie was already a few minutes in. He settled back on the sofa, but not in the same way. He still sat near Sunghoon though, but the latter found himself wondering if he could somehow drag Jake back into their previous position. The other wouldn’t complain, that was for sure, he never did.

Jay’s earlier comment about Jake liking him back crossed Sunghoon’s mind again.

They didn’t last long enough to finish the second movie since everybody was already sleepy halfway through, even Niki. Instead of heading to their respective rooms, Sunoo had suggested sleeping in the living room like Sunghoon had expected would happen in the end. They could stay in their rooms the next day, anyway, he also needed more company around after that horror movie they watched. When everybody was in agreement, they began to get ready to sleep.

Since he was already on the sofa, Sunghoon refused to give it up. He would much rather sleep there than the floor. It could only fit one person comfortably though, so that meant Jake had moved down, settling down in the spot next to Jay. He was right at the edge, so there was an open space next to him that made Sunghoon contemplate moving after all. That would have made him obvious though, right? Even when Jake looked a little cold since Jay wasn’t the type to cuddle to sleep. The blonde needed his space.

So did Sunghoon, if that was any other night, but he was still missing the warmth and comfort from earlier.

A moment of weakness would be fine, he told himself, when he noticed Jake head back to their room. Sunghoon followed under the pretense of changing into pajamas instead of the shorts he currently wore when Heeseung had asked where he was going, but the older boy seemed to know he was just giving an excuse; Heeseung spoke to keep the rest of the boys distracted as the dark-haired boy mentally said thanks and slipped into the room he would have shared with Jake.

“Hey,” Sunghoon greeted, evidently catching the other by surprise since the brunette jumped a little at the sound of his voice. He scoffed, “okay, who’s the baby now, getting scared by _me_ of all people?”

“Is _that_ what you came here to do?” Jake shot back, amused.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to share the couch with me,” the taller boy said, thankful that he was able to keep his voice level and his cheeks free of any obvious blush on them. For the second time since he entered, Jake had a look of surprise again, one that morphed into fake suspicion as he considered what Sunghoon just said, making it obvious that he was thinking hard about it. At that, Sunghoon rolled his eyes at the act, “I’m trying to be nice here, Jake.”

The brunette grinned, “I know, that’s why I’m wondering what you need.”

“My shirt back, actually.”

“Never!” Jake replied, laughing. “You already agreed I could keep it.”

“I guess I did,” the taller boy relented.

“Come on then, let’s go back,” Jake said, pleased that he won their little argument, if it could be called that. He was halfway across the room and towards the door when he noticed that Sunghoon wasn’t following behind him, making him turn back around. He raised his eyebrows at the other boy in silent question, true confusion making its way on his face. “Earth to Park Sunghoon?”

The taller boy just stared, taking the sight in with silent appreciation. There was something oddly calming about the way Jake stood there, dressed in _his_ shirt, brown hair still a mess from when they were lying down on the sofa. Sunghoon always knew Jake was handsome, but it was a different thing to feel like Jake was _attractive_ and cute, and other adjectives that Sunghoon was having a hard time processing. He stood there and felt like his heart was exposed for the world to see. 

“Jake,” Sunghoon started, words coming out before he could stop himself. “Have you ever thought of dating?”

“Sure,” the brunette replied, still confused, but answering honestly nonetheless. They’ve talked about the topic once or twice before, both on the edge since university gave them little time to enjoy themselves, but also the chance to meet more people. Jake himself had gotten some people asking him out here and there throughout the years, but none he went out with more than once. He tilted his head in silent question, waiting for the other to continue.

“Have you ever thought of dating me?”

If time could slow down, it probably did at that moment. There was a dull silence in Sunghoon’s ears that made the beating of his heart extra loud. A part of him wanted to pretend he asked as a joke, or for an ego boost, but there was no playfulness in his tone. Jake also looked like he had taken the question seriously, his eyes widening by a fraction as he opened his mouth to answer, only to close again. They stared at each other for what felt like forever and a half before the shorter boy gave an awkward chuckle.

“Do you want an honest answer?” Jake asked, smiling a little.

Sunghoon nodded, “when have you ever lied to me, anyway?” 

“Remember when you thought Jay stole the banana milk from the mini-fridge?” The brunette replied, his smile widening as he began to walk back towards the taller boy. His footsteps were light as he stopped just a few steps away, looking up at Sunghoon with those brown eyes of his. Jake always managed to make himself look innocent even with the twinkle of mischief. “That was me, I’m sorry.”

The dark-haired boy scoffed, “I know, I saw the box in your room that same day.”

“I guess I’m not as sneaky as I thought,” Jake said, the double meaning behind his words not lost on Sunghoon. There was a pause before he continued, “when did you find out?”

“I didn’t, not really, anyway,” Sunghoon answered, feeling the flush creep up the back of his neck as his fingers began to card through his hair; a nervous tic he had, one that everybody else knew about. He still wasn’t sure how to translate the way Jake was acting, nonchalant and calm, even when they were talking about a rather surprising topic. Was Sunghoon really that dense that he was the only one fumbling around this whole situation?

He really thought he’d be the one making Jake nervous if he had to be honest.

“It’s more of a hope,” he admitted. “Just today, to be honest.”

“Figures,” Jake said with a laugh, “you aren’t the most perceptive.”

Sunghoon frowned, “hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It took you three years to realize I’m interested in you,” Jake deadpanned, although there was some colour tinting his cheeks that made the taller boy feel better. The brunette also began to use his fingers to count down what he claimed were a bunch of other people who found Sunghoon attractive, flirted with him, or tried to ask him out on a date, but they never got anywhere because Sunghoon could be unbelievably dense. Even about his _own_ feelings, it seemed.

“So, what does this make us?” The taller boy asked, still in a mild state of disbelief. 

Maybe it was all a dream and he’d wake up, back in the dorms, with Jay snoring in the distance.

“I mean,” Jake said, his eyes darting around the room like he didn’t expect Sunghoon to _actually_ ask. Like maybe he was thinking the same, that everything was a dream that would disappear the moment they actually tried to make things work out. Still, he also looked hopeful, and maybe that was the feeling that won against the rest. He licked his lips nervously, “we could try? I mean, I’d like us to try? I don’t know, I kind of thought this was a hopeless cause since sophomore year.” 

“Would a kiss help?” 

The question made Jake scoff and also visibly relax, “we’ve already done that. Twice, if you count that spin the bottle game at Euijoo’s party.”

“That was on the forehead,” the other boy pointed out, grinning. “It’s not a real kiss.”

“Show me a real kiss, then,” Jake shot back without much thought, before realizing what he said.

The dark-haired boy laughed at the sight of a now-finally-panicking Jake, whose ears were a bright red. The weight he felt on his chest dissipated slowly, his frayed nerves calming down now that they had fallen back to their usual bickering. Sunghoon had worried for a brief moment that _feelings_ would change _everything_ , but he should have known that it wouldn’t happen. The push and pull he enjoyed with the other as best friends still remained even as they were trying to maneuver through whatever next phase they’d be in. 

“Maybe not when our friends are right outside,” Sunghoon said.

Still, he couldn’t help it when he noticed the flicker of disappointment pass through Jake’s face. It was obvious now that he knew what to look for, like the way the shorter boy’s shoulders dropped by just a fraction. He would never admit it out loud, but his actions were there. Sunghoon still had to get used to it, but he figured he’d learn along the way. He grinned before leaning down to close the space between them, resting his lips on top of the other’s head. 

He pulled back, pleased with himself, “so, share the couch with me?” 

Jake shoved him further away, “sleep by yourself, you know we don’t fit.”

“Worth a shot,” Sunghoon admitted with a laugh, slinging his arm around the other’s shoulder and steering him back towards the direction of the door to return to the living room. In the end, he didn’t even find the time to change into pajamas, but they’ve been gone long enough that he hoped the others had already fallen asleep. It was worth a shot. He knew Jay and Heeseung would stay awake to await what happened though, but the others probably fell asleep by then.

* * *

With Heeseung graduating, it automatically opened his bed to new residents.

Well, _a_ new resident, since Sunghoon loudly exclaimed he was going to fight everybody off if they even thought of moving to that room. The others didn’t take him seriously though and did, in fact, challenge him to a few bets here and there. Technically, Jay had won, but then he realized that he could also figure out a way to room with Jungwon if he managed to play his cards right with Niki. By the time Heeseung had finished packing up, the new rooming arrangements were set.

“I don’t think I can see this room the same way again,” the older boy said, shaking his head.

“I’ll take good care of your bed,” Sunghoon said solemnly.

The red-haired boy merely shook his head further, mumbling something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like he didn’t believe Sunghoon at all, but would rather not know what was going to happen. Meanwhile, Jake was resting on his own bed, watching the two talk with a content smile on his face. It was easier to find him smiling nowadays; he smiled a lot back then, too, but he just looked so much happier recently. Jay might have also considered that when he gave in to Sunghoon’s pleading.

Heeseung closed the door behind him since he had promised Sunoo he would drop by the room he now shared with Niki.

Once he was gone, Sunghoon fell into the open space next to Jake.

“We have a few hours to kill before dinner,” he said, taking Jake’s hand in his without much thought, the movement as natural to him as breathing. Sunghoon sighed, “how many times are we going to send Heeseung off? It’s not like he’s moving countries or anything.”

“You know you’ll miss him,” Jake said, laughing softly when he received a grunt in agreement.

“Jake, look at me.”

The brunette pretended to look the other way, but that lasted only a few seconds since Sunghoon whined immediately. He relented quickly, turning towards the other boy with a smile already on his lips. His eyes fluttered close as Sunghoon neared, already expecting their lips to meet since the other boy had a _very_ hard time staying away. A few moments passed without anything happening though. Jake’s eyes opened with a playful glare already present.

Of course, Sunghoon was laughing.

“You started it,” the pale boy said in between chuckles, that only got worse when Jake pretended to push the other away, but his shoves were weak. “You’re adorable, Jake.”

“Shut _up_ ,” the brunette complained, the tips of his ears pink. 

Unable to help himself, Sunghoon finally leaned in and relished the moment their lips finally touched. He had gotten quite used to kissing the other, enjoying every moment, since he felt everything Jake had a hard time saying. He felt it in the way the other would melt into their kisses; lips always willingly parting whenever Sunghoon would push just a little bit. There was an addictive quality to the soft sounds the smaller boy would make, too.

Not that Sunghoon ever brought that up, since he knew if he did, Jake would try to keep it in.

When he pulled back, Sunghoon also allowed himself a few moments to stare at Jake, with his lips kissed red and his cheeks flushed. 

“I love you,” the dark-haired boy said sweetly.

He didn’t get a verbal reply, but Jake did grab the front of his shirt and pulled him back in, which was something Sunghoon could only translate as _I love you, too_.

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly didn't know this would end up so long !!!


End file.
